The Unknown

Live without regret...Live today like there is no tomorrow...we all know the sayings right? But how do you live IN the moment when so much is hanging in the balance?  I obviously struggle with the unknown, the "what-ifs", the "but what about?".  It haunts me.  I loose sleep.  I can't get it out of my head.  I would love to live IN the moment, like there is no tomorrow, with no worries or fears, (it would make shopping a lot more fun, right?!) but there are things we need, things we need to save for (braces, cars, college funds)...see what I mean? I worry about birthday parties and Christmas 6 months in advance....and taxes- well lets just say that I have stressed since April 18th about this April 17th.  Its EXHAUSTING!  I drive Rob crazy with my worry...he is such a free spirit, he always says "we'll worry about it when we get there".  I see people in restaurants, stores, at meetings and they seem to be so calm, relaxed, happy.  I'm happy but by no means am I sitting there calm and relaxed.  I am processing the day, the day to come, the paperwork, bills, check book, kids activities, games, errands, and probably attempting to carry on a conversation with you at the same time!  As a mom I expected to be running around to practices, pictures, games, etc. and love it with all of my heart.  As a business owner (or the owner's wife) I knew there would be ups, downs, busy times, crazy times, sacrifices and I enjoy the benefits as well.  But when you combine everything it just feels incredibly overwhelming and hard to even process.  I would love to have the brain that would shut off during a baseball practice and allow me to just sit and "remember the experience with the kids".  And i try- I really do....but then "Remembering the experience" leads to "OMG I haven't touched their baby books in a year, and their scrapbooks-well more like 2 years", then I get a glimpse of Neelys shoes as she runs down the field, dirty again...."I have got to get her a new, clean pair of shoes", then Rob asks for his bottle of water and it leads to "I'm out of water at home, "  See what I mean?-reading this to myself I realize Rob is right---maybe my brain is a LITTLE over-active! HA!  Is this something every mom struggles with? Is it something people are really good at hiding? Or does everyone really "have it all together"? Because by no means do I!  I do try to step back and look at my great little family, our house, business, life in general and take a deep breath while thinking "we worried about this, prayed for this, worked for this, and it turned out beautifully." And this peace fills my head.  However, as briefly as the peace comes over me-its gone again and Neely is laying on the driveway crying because she fell off her bike, Robo is rolling down the street on his skateboard, and "Big Rob" is calling to tell me he's gonna be another hour at work.....and everything comes flooding back into my head. Anyway- enough rambling....here's to a "peaceful, fun, relaxing" evening to you all!!!!